Leadership: Turning Resistance into Cooperation



Each one of us faces conflict in our daily lives, whether we like or not. Clearly, some of us like it more than others. There are those of us who try to avoid conflict at all costs but alas, it is inevitable. When we are equipped to handle conflict, it becomes much easier to manage. Here are some steps to turn resistance into cooperation. Don’t be hard on yourself if you don’t get it perfect the first time, it will get easier with practice. Have an attitude that allows you to be influenced:

1) Ask for what you want.
2) Listen to understand.
3) Reflect back your understanding: summarize or paraphrase to be sure you know what was said.
4) Focus on underlying interests: what does the other person really want?
5) Confront covert resistance by perception checking: state your observation.
6) Suggest a test or a trial run to enhance cooperation (and make a date to check back on the test).
7) Identify the cost of noncooperation: tell another what happens when they don’t cooperate.
8) Confront and clarify mixed messages: don’t let a mixed message slip away without addressing what was meant.

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